Napoleon

I feel this proud and pompous. I started writing my reports.

I have 99 to go, and would like to finish them before I go on tour to Sydney. In three days. At my current rate of 1 report: 55 minutes, I'm not sure I'll be completely report-free by Tuesday, 6am, but I'll give it a red-hot go.

Anyway, Napoleon only slept four hours a night, and what's good enough for that little man is good enough for me. I shall be to report writing what Napoleon was to military strategy and ruthless megalomania. Impressively successful and efficient, then a rapid about-face and some humiliating defeats, before spending the end of my teaching days bailed up on an island being looked after by some nice British guards. (Insert lewdly inappropriate accents where you see fit)

So, with my alarm set for some short time from now, I wish you a very good night. Bon soir.

To victory, ha ha! etc.